by Eric Terman
Washington, D.C.- The White House announced today plans to accelerate it’s “War on Hyperbole”. Newly appointed Hyperbole Czar Ramon Clarkson said, “We can no longer afford to stand idle as these deadly hyperboles tear apart the fabric of our society. We must seek them out and utterly annihilate them where-ever they are. No less than the future of the human race is at stake.”
Supporters of the War on Hyperbole cite other failed “War on” policies such as the War on Drugs, the War on Crime, and the disasterous War on Internet Porn as evidence of an over-abundance of hyperbole in American society. Criticisms however cover a wide range of doubts. Some fear inadequate funding, while many more ask “What is a hyperbole?” Clarkson however dismisses his critics, and insists that casualties will not exceed 25,000 lives.